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| Family road trip! |
They pack up the camels to go while Laban is out of town sheering his inferior white sheep. They take off, with all the speckled sheep and Jacob's accumulated wealth. Without anyone else's knowledge, Rachel also swipes Laban's household gods and slips them into a saddlebag.
Three days later Laban returns and sees that Jacob and his daughters are gone. Not only that, his idols are missing! He gives chase and as he draws near, God warns him in a dream to not to ask Jacob any leading questions.
Laban catches up and says, "Jacob! C'mon man, why'd you leave? If you would have just told me we'd have had a sweet going away party! The way you left, you made this look like you're kidnapping my daughters and running off with my property. I could rightfully have your head for stealing my daughters and my household gods, but you're pretty lucky that your God told me not to. So just hand over the stuff and no one gets hurt."
"Yeah," Jacob replies, "I guess that was kind of silly of me, but really I just wanted to be able to keep your daughters and I was worried that you'd make them stay. But I can tell you for sure that I most certainly did NOT take your idols. If you can find the person that took them, you're absolutely welcome to kill them."
Laban goes through all the tents and doesn't find the idols anywhere. He searches the camels and comes to the one that Rachel is sitting on with the idols hiding under the saddle. He tells her to get off the camel so he can look.
"Dad," she says. "I have my period. I can't get off the camel right now. But you can look around me if you like."
This is universally embarrassing to men, especially your own father. You can be sure he didn't look too closely.
"Yeah, I don't see them anywhere. Huh. Wonder where I left them..."
Jacob totally loses it and yells at Laban. "See? I told you so! And here you are chasing me half way across the holy land accusing me of taking your stupid gods after I've busted my ass for you for twenty years. I took good care of your animals the whole time, even though you switched daughters on me, changed my wages and screwed me over at every turn. I only profited from this whole thing because God loves me, not because you've done anything to help me. That's why God told you to not lop off my head last night. So take your stupid scrawny white sheep and go home."
"Ok ok! Geez, calm down," says Laban. "Let make a pact right here. We'll build a big pile of rocks and call it Jegar-sahadutha."
"Sure," says Jacob, "but Jegar-sahadutha is a stupid name. I want to call it Galeed."
"Fine. Galeed."
They eat dinner at the pile o' rocks and agree that one side is Jacob's and the other side is Laban's and no one can cross this line to do the other person harm.
The next morning, Jacob and his wives continue home. He's a little worried that Esau might still be really mad about that whole inheritance and stolen blessing thing, so he sends some messengers ahead to go find Esau and tell him that he's on his way home and has lots of stuff.
The messengers return and say that Esau is coming to meet him. And he has 400 men with him. And strangely... no other details. Was he happy to hear that Jacob's coming home? Did he look angry? 400 men with weapons or a large catering crew? Nope. No details. Just that he's on his way with either a large angry mob or a party revelers and well-wishers.
He divides up his people and goods into two camps, figuring if one gets attacked at least the other will get away, and prays that he doesn't get killed.
To appease his potentially angry brother and his army, he makes a gift of hundreds of sheep and goats and camels and cows and donkeys. He sends them ahead in little groups with instructions to say that the animals are for Esau from Jacob and that Jacob will be on his way shortly.
He takes his wives and children and sends them across a stream in a different direction, leaving him alone. Suddenly a man appears and begins wrestling with him. The wrestle all night long and when the man realizes he isn't winning, he touches Jacob's hip socket, dislocates his leg, and asks to be let go.
"No way," says Jacob. "Not unless you bless me. And maybe fix my leg because that hurts like crazy."
"Ok," says the hip-dislocating man. "What's your name?"
"Jacob."
"Alright. Your name isn't Jacob anymore. It's Israel."
"Thanks. And what's your name?"
"None of your bee's wax," says the man, and blesses him.
It seems that Jacob at this point realizes that this is not just some ordinary man, but God. And he limps back to camp on his hurt leg only to see Esau and his 400 men approaching.
He gathers his family and approaches his brother, bowing repeatedly.
Esau runs up and gives him a great big hug and they have a good cry (Jacob probably from relief since he thought he was going to get killed). Esau looks behind Jacob and says, "So introduce me to the family!" Jacob introduces everyone.
"And, brother, what's with all the animals I met on the way? Really? You can't give me all those!"
"No, no, Esau. They're yours."
"Jacob I have plenty of animals, really. Keep them."
"Esau, please. I truly insist. It's the least I can do." And Esau gives in and accepts the animals, and offers to lead Jacob and his camps to his home. But Jacob says that they're all really tired.
"You go on ahead and we'll follow you slowly to Seir."
"Ok," says Esau, "but let me leave you some of my men to help you out."
"Nah, I got people of my own."
Esau goes to Seir, expecting his brother to follow him. But Jacob decides to go to Succoth instead and builds a house and stables for his animals, then travels to Caanan and the city of Shechem.
So what could have been a really nice story of brotherly reconciliation turns into an awkward reunion and another parting of ways.
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