Exodus 19 - 23:19 Ten Commandments and 42 Other Rules No One Remembers

Three months after leaving Egypt, the Hebrews come to Mt. Sinai. The people camped at the bottom of the mountain while Moses went up for a strategy and planning meeting with God.

God says, "Listen. You need to go and remind these people all the bad stuff I brought down on the Egyptians, and that I brought them out of slavery and they need to listen to me and obey me. I'm going to lay down some rules and they're need to follow them. If they do that, they'll be my #1 holy people. If not... well..."

Moses goes down and tells the people what God said. "Yeah, no problem Moses," say the people.

Moses goes back up the mountain. "They said ok."

"Good," says God. "I'm going to appear to you as a thick cloud in a few days so the rest of the people can finally meet me. So tell everyone to wash up and consecrate themselves and be presentable. And tell the not to touch my mountain until I blow my trumpet, or I'll kill them right dead."

So everyone washes up and in three days a giant thundering cloud rolls down the mountain, scaring the heck out of everyone. Moses leads them all out to meed God.

"Stay here," he reminds everyone, and goes up to find out what to do next.

"Hey, Moses," says God. "Go get your priests and come back up here."

"But.... you said they can't come up or they'd die."

"Oh yeah. Well, go get Aaron then. But the priests and the people have to stay away." Moses goes back down the mountain.

And God lays down some rules:

1. NO other gods

2. NO worshiping idols or other graven images

3. NO taking my name in vain

4. NO working on the Sabbath

5. Honor your parents

6. NO killing (unless I say it's ok)

7. NO adultery

8. NO stealing

9. NO lying

10. NO wishing you had your neighbor's stuff

The people see all this as thunder and lightning and and trumpets and are terrified and stand far off from the mountain. They say to Moses, "Hey, you be the messenger. You go talk to God and come back and tell us what he says, but we want to stay right here. He's scary."

"No, no, really he's cool. He's just trying to scare you so you obey him."

"Yeah, we're staying here. You go," the people say. Moses (and I presume Aaron since God told him to go get him) go back up the mountain into the cloud to talk to God.

"Alright, listen up," says God. "There are more rules:

1. No gods of silver or gold, like I said before;
2. Make a rough stone altar for sacrifices everywhere that I reveal myself to you. But don't build steps up to it because I don't want you revealing yourself to me. I can see right up your robes;
3. If you buy a slave, he is free after working for you for six years. If he's single when he starts, he should be single when he leaves. Same if he's married. If you give him a wife, and she has children, you get to keep the wife and children when he leaves. If he refuses to leave, you can keep him as your slave forever, but mark him by running an awl through his ear so people know;
4. If someone sells their daughter as a slave, she won't be set free after six years. She better please her master; if not, he can sell her back. He can't sell her to foreigners though... that would be wrong. If he buys her for his son, treat her like your daughter. If he takes her as a wife and then gets another wife, you can't reduce her food or clothing or marital rights - if you don't do those three things, then she can leave;
5. If you kill a man on purpose, then you die. But if it was my will for it to happen, then I'll appoint a place for you to flee. So "No killing unless I say it's ok." Such as...
6. If you strike your mother or father, you die;
7. If you steal a man and sell him, whoever is in possession of that man dies;
8. If you curse your mother or father... again, you die;
9. If you hit someone and severely injure them, you're responsible for making sure he gets better and covering his expenses while he's incapacitated;
10. If you kill your slave, you shall be punished. But not if the slave lives a couple days and then dies. So if you need to kill a slave, make sure he suffers a few days;
11. 
    
    If you beat a pregnant woman so much that she miscarries, but she is otherwise ok, her husband can fine you. But if there is harm to her, then you shall pay likewise. So if the she dies, you die. If she is crippled, then that part of you gets crippled;
12. If you beat a slave and he loses an eye or a tooth, he gets to go free. Remember that if you're slowly killing them in rule 10;
13. If your ox kills someone, that animal needs to be killed and not eaten. The owner isn't liable beyond that unless that ox has been known to be vicious in the past. If that's the case, both the ox and the owner die. If the ox kills a slave, then the ox dies and you pay the slave's owner 30 shekels;
14. If you dig a pit and someone else's animal falls in it, you pay for the animal but the animal is yours;
15. If your ox kills someone else's ox, then you pay for it and you and the dead ox's owner share the meat. But if your ox was known to be vicious, then you don't get to share;
16. If you steal an ox or sheep and eat it, then you owe that person more animals back - 5 ox for an ox or 4 sheep for a sheep;
17. If someone breaks in your house at night and you kill him, it's ok. But if it happens during the day, you can't kill him. The thief need to pay restitution to you (and double if the stolen animal is found in his possession), but if he can't pay, you can sell the thief into slavery;
18. If you let your animals eat someone else's crops, you need to pay for that;
19. If you start a fire and it burns someone else's crops, you need to pay for that;
20. If you have someone store or keep something for you and it's stolen and then found, then the thief shall pay double. If it isn't found, then the judges will have to sort it out;
21. If you have a neighbor keeping your animals for you and they die or go missing, the person keeping the animals needs to swear that they didn't do anything wrong and the owner needs to accept that. But if it was stolen, he owes him double;
22. If you borrow something and break it or it dies, then you pay the owner back;
23. If you seduce a virgin and sleep with her, she's yours. You have to pay her father for her. If her father refuses to give her to you, then you still have to pay for her at whatever the going rate is for virgins;
24. No sorcery or you die;
25. Leave the sheep alone. You sleep with an animal, you die;
26. No sacrifices to other gods;
27. Be nice to strangers, widows, and fatherless children. If you're mean to them, I'll kill you;
28. If you lend money to poor people, you can't charge them interest. If you take their robes or cloak as collateral, you need to return it to them at night. If they get cold because you didn't, then I'll know about it;
29. Don't talk smack about me or your rulers;
30. Sacrifices need to be made in a timely manner;
31. Don't eat dead animals you find in the field;
32. Don't lie in order to get someone out of trouble or into trouble;
33. If you see an enemy's animals loose, return it. If you see an enemy's animal struggling under a burden, help it;
34. Don't get involved in lies and rumors, and don't kill innocent people. Wait... I think I already said that. I'm starting to repeat myself...
35. Be nice to travelers and immigrants;
36. Rotate your crops. Plant a field for six years and then let it rest for a year. Let poor people eat what they can find there;
37. Work six days, rest on the seventh;
38. Make no mention of the names of other gods;
39. Have three feasts a year. You have the Feast of Unleavened Bread, Feast of the Harvest at the beginning of the harvest, and Feast of the Ingathering at the end of the harvest;
40. No offering blood sacrifices with anything leavened, and don't leave fat from feasts out overnight;
41. I get the best offerings at the start of the harvest;
42. And finally... don't boil a young goat in its mother's milk."

"Is that it?" asks Moses.

"For now."